My last post was reporting good news about potty training. I need to go a few steps backwards obviously because Henry really has just learned about the joy of opening his diaper.
After school on Friday, we were playing in the living room and I left for a moment. I came back and Thomas said "Henry has a poopy diaper". I went to get wipes and a diaper and returned to find he had poop on his hands and all over his tummy. I started to try to get him clean and there is the faintest song coming from outside. "ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!". Parker and Thomas are delegating finding money/ flagging down the ice cream man. It is right before dinner and I can't do anything because I'm cleaning off caked- on poop. Since it was their money and they went out by themselves, they bought the most sugary/ food coloring packed treats imaginable.
This is when I gave up. Henry got nothing and watched his brothers eating their huge frozen treats on the deck.
I received an email earlier this week from a mother with a child with developmental issues in Colorado. She told me that she had written group emails years ago to her friends and family when her son was experiencing difficulties. Her message to me was lovely and one that moms with young children need to hear. She told me that even if Henry is not like his brothers, we will find a new normal and not to underestimate the developing brain. She also told me that her son can now read, write, and is considered gifted in math.
I really struggle when I think too far forward. In a way, it's inevitable because I start to wonder after all the evaluations- will he go to kindergarten? will he be in an inclusive environment? will he ever do x, whatever x is? This is partly absurd because, of course, no one knows what the future holds for their child. However, I struggle because there are questions left and right about Henry at 6 and at 13 and at 18. I've been asked before if he will need to live with us or in a group home indefinitely. I don't want to think about these possibilities, but I know I need to prepare myself and our family emotionally and financially. With a child developing normally, there are infinite developmental handbooks to guide you down a path that hopefully won't screw up your child. Not so with a child experiencing developmental delays.... you and your family write a different story everyday.
This is what I need to remember and share. We are still struggling, some days more than others, to understand what trajectory Henry might travel. I would like to think that one day I will be telling him and others that even though he struggled early on, he is able to read and write and is considered gifted in at least one sense. Wouldn't that be wonderful? These thoughts remove the weight of thinking too much about the other possibilities of the future.
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