finding a voice

I really thought that no one else knew that Henry had a disability for a long time.

He was floppy as an infant and kept his left hand in a constant fist.  He didn't sit or crawl or walk... but I was convinced no one else knew.

That is why trying to teach Henry to walk was so difficult.  It seemed like the most effective method was by going outside and walking down the sidewalk.  I felt like everyone knew by that point and it was made all the more obvious by the fact he had a walker.

It was a mental struggle for me almost everyday because even though I knew it was good for him to practice walking, I didn't want anyone to look at us.  In fact, I really didn't want anyone to know.

What made it easier?  That everyone did know.  Our last neighborhood was filled with all these fantastic people who would come out and "take shifts" with me or talk to me as Henry was in his walker or when I was having a really tough day, would come outside and give me a beer and wait while Henry was being stubborn.  It was really easier when it wasn't secret any longer.

The fact I started to take pictures of him in the walker last year released some of this emotional turmoil.  I was admitting to myself that this was a moment in our lives even though I didn't know how long this moment would last.

Revealing something that I thought was a secret was so cathartic that I now I want to do it all the time.  Keeping things hidden can be a subtle poison to your happiness.  My post today was meant to share an excursion to the PostSecret exhibit in Denver until the universe smacked me in the face.

I rarely get universe face smacks but they are rather helpful.  I've been taking this workshop with a photographer I love and today I spoke at length with a photographer I'm honored to think of as a mentor to me.  Her message and the message of the other photographer was your art is who you are.  They are both more than willing to share their secrets.  People can mimic you, copy you, imitate, but they'll never get it right because it will still be them.

If it is something shameful or sad or slightly private, the inclination is to hide your secrets.  If it is something that makes you unique or special or different, the inclination is still to hide it all.  I say share, share, share.  We can all learn from one another.

Here is the result of what I learned today and it has all to do with backlighting which usually scares the crap out of me....