Thomas took the first picture of me and when I saw it in the camera, I cried. It is an incredibly lonely photo and it speaks to the last one because this is the image I saw when the photo of me was taken. In the center is Henry and after an evening of attempting to stand him in his walker and failing, I was spent. He crawled to his room in our small, small house.
I am also proud when I look at this series because I realize how far we've all come in just one year. The person I see (me) in the photo is desperate and sad. I remember looking at the walker and feeling overwhelmed with emotion. I remember not being able to talk to any of my friends without crying.
Time, my photographs, journaling, spending every day with the boys, more time, reaching outward... these things have made all the difference.
As part of the workshop I'm attending , I read this article tonight: http://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/notcamera.htm.
All of the above pictures were taken with a small digital camera and although not technically brilliant, I think there is a story. And really, they are photos that inspire me. It felt kind of nice to read this article when I'm experiencing such a photographic funk and remember all the times that others have remarked I must have a really nice camera. Yes, I do. I also have a crappy camera, a film camera, an iphone camera and a Brownie, all of which I rock. I wrote this last sentence as a sort of photographic battle cry. I'm really in a funk lately (photograph and style-wise).
So, I would like two families to know that I'm thinking of them. One family I was going to photograph last week until an accident sent the youngest child to the hospital and the other family is one in which the youngest will be having cardiac surgery tomorrow. Let it be said that I am honored you have let me into your lives and I look forward to a better time to photograph you and your children. Your strength inspires me.
And after the sad series, here he is ... Henry 2011. I hope you are imagining me behind the camera grinning from ear-to-ear because that is what I'm doing. The tears are happy tears.
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