finding a voice

I was married eleven years ago yesterday (now two days ago- the 15th of July).  I met my husband about 13 1/2 years ago.  We went on a few "first" dates, but the one that we can both remember all the details was our movie date to see "The Big Lebowski".

I insisted we go because I was and am a huge Coen brothers fan.  The Oak Street Cinema was showing the movie.  I was there for several movie marathons- Woody Allen and Martin Scorcese being among them, but never for a single new movie.  Pete lived in a house not far from Oak Street at the time and we walked to Perry's because he knew the owner and we needed to eat on the cheap (it was college).  We arrived a little too late to eat in so I took the pizza box and stuffed it under my winter coat (after drinking a pitcher of beer in record time).  Off we went to Oak Street cinema to watch one of my favorite movies of all time.

In celebration of eleven years married, we watched the ten year anniversary edition of the film.  I grilled pizza.  These were very healthy, homemade, mostly vegetarian pizzas with just a smattering of sardines.  We drank a few white russians then off to bed after the movie.  It was sweet to reminisce about a date that sticks in our memories as if yesterday yet is so far away.

I can't imagine coming down this road alone and yet, I've been told, so many couples with children with special needs end up divorcing.  The stress of care and managing money and responsibilites and often times the guilt becomes too much.  To this I say, I will never, ever leave my husband and God help me if he ever leaves me.  I will workout and wear sunscreen and dress nicely once a month.  I will remember to shave my legs at least once a week.  Crap... I would never be able to do this alone.

Today, I took Henry and Parker to the pool in our neighborhood.  Parker is able to swim alone in the big pool, so I took Henry into the toddler pool which he adores.  After only a few moments, a little boy named Nick joined us.  Nick has Down's syndrome.  Soon after, Parker joined me in the pool with Henry.  Henry really wanted to play with Nick, but Nick, being older, was really interested in Parker.  Without question, Parker began playing catch with Nick and Henry stood in rapt attention.  Have I even said how much I adore Parker Lenzen?   He is perhaps the sweetest human to walk the face of the earth.    I love going to this little pool in our neighborhood.  Happy, entertained children equals one very content mother.

Counterpoint:  we bought tickets to the Colorado Rockies game last month and tonight was the night for the big game.   We arrived early to have dinner in LoDo (lower downtown Denver).  We stopped at H Burger before the game then walked to the stadium.  As we were walking, it was raining a bit.  The game, however, was postponed one hour because of the storm.   The humidity became unbearable during the course of the game.  I've joked to others about it being monsoon season in Denver, but apparently, it actually is monsoon season in Denver.  It stormed the entire game and during the sixth inning, I called it.  Thomas sobbed the entire way out of the stadium and all the way back to the car.  He also promptly fell asleep in the car as it was 10:00 pm when we left the city.   Parker claimed he wasn't able to see any of the game even though he really complained the entire time he was bored so I gave him my phone to play Angry Birds.  However, it was not without us swearing to never do this again and never spend our money so foolishly.  It goes on and on.

I really was left today thinking about the substance of memory.  What is important and what should be discarded... here is this movie and a simple act of smuggling a pizza into a theater compared with so many substantive memories of building a home and a family.  The pool being so important to me, especially today, is what I've been observing in my children for years.  Alternately, the whole ordeal with the Rockies game threatened to tear apart all good thoughts.

No photos today.  Need to get back in the mode of writing and taking photographs daily... as it is this post is three days late.