finding a voice

and Max said "I"LL EAT YOU UP!" so he was sent to bed without eating anything.

day twenty-seven/  I find there are so many things that arrive in the mail now that are undesirable that I can't imagine the postal service has much longevity.  I do fondly remember a time when cards or very long letters with beautiful drawings and heartfelt messages would arrive by mail.  Sometimes you would receive a personalized gift of some sort.  Now it is all bills and overdue library notices and quite frankly, bad news.

Like what we received last week.  Last week, we were notified by the state of Colorado that Henry had been deemed disabled.  On Saturday, a letter arrived by mail to notify us that Henry is fully eligible for the medicaid buy-in program.  He has been assigned a number and from now on, we only need to mention he has medicaid.

Very mixed news.  As many of you know, there was no way I was ever going to slap the label of "disabled" on Henry despite our many difficulties with therapies and medical assistance.  However,  when the medicaid buy-in program became available, I knew it was the only way for our family to survive and navigate the complex system of therapies, doctor's appointments, testing, etc.   Now I pass disabled parking spots and think, "if only I weren't so stubborn", but this is still my mindset:  I cannot fall into a habit of thinking Henry is not capable of doing certain things.  I feel if I give him space and the ability to make mistakes, fall down (often more frequently than others), get in trouble and generally be a typical child that the chances of him having a normal life are far greater.

Tonight the boys were trying to decide on a movie to watch before bed (fast becoming a Sunday night tradition).  They were fighting and finally I just decided to put in "Finding Nemo" as it Henry's favorite.  Parker asked "Why does every movie involve a character getting lost?" which I found rather insightful.   I then started to tell them about the hero's journey, a thread in all fairytales and most myths.   A hero must lose someone very important to him or her (very often a parent) which results in having to go on an adventure (alone).  This adventure results in the hero nearly dying him/herself, but in the end, they are able to find their happy ending.

When I was describing this to the kids, they were confused because this narrative seemed closer to Cinderella or Snow White.  What is genius about "Finding Nemo" is the hero is not Nemo but his father.  His father loses his son and has to go on the quest to find him.   I like that Pixar turns the classic hero on its head for most of their movies, like Toy Story.  First of all, I have "Finding Nemo" memorized, but in a sense,  it is nice to think what you are going through is heroic and not pitiful.

What I would prefer as the hero's journey is a family journey that is relevant and true like "Finding Nemo" When I think about what has happened to our family the last five years, it definitely fits the criteria of the hero odyssey but no one was alone... it was an entire family getting lost, trying to find what is lost, going on an unwanted adventure, almost collapsing, but in the end...