You have a child who, of course, you adore and seems to be developing in more or less a typical way. One day a friend, teacher or parent approaches you and says to you, "Your child is never going to amount to anything" or "Your child will never do (x,y or z)". Would you accept a total stranger or even an educator, parent or therapist making such a negative remark about your child?
Because this is what happens to families with special needs children everyday. We are told that our children will never do x, y or z. They will never be able to understand __________ or feel _______ or communicate ____________ or even experience _________by complete strangers or close friends or therapists.
If I said your typically developing child will never get into college or have a girlfriend/boyfriend or learn how to play sports or have any special skills, you might never talk to me again.
However, if you have a child with identified special needs, all of these things will be said again and again. You will receive predictions from those who have met your child only once. Some will tell you that it won't get better.
But it will.
No one can predict the future even for a typical child. Your child,who is brilliant now, might not show they are brilliant by the time they are 20 and instead work a minimum wage job for the rest of their life or live at home beyond the time expected or even worse, have addictions, etc. that are not controlled. It is not something you can decide. You might try to push art classes or sports or music or academics and tell them again and again about how special they are, but in the end, it is the child who decides what path to follow.
I am hoping that my dear, sweet child will be able to adapt to the expectations of others. I hope he will learn to speak with the help of a device much like he learned to walk with the help of a walker. However, I do also realize that I don't have a say.
I am left to wonder what is my part of this complex equation. Wait and pray? Forgive and understand?
And then, there is Henry. Beautiful, funny, complex, charming Henry.
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